Wednesday, 21 December 2011


Saw this piece on Fb and decided to share it with y'all!
When she was a kid, her Mum liked to make food for dinner every now & then & one night in particular when she had made dinner after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, her Mum placed a plate of bread jam and extremely burned biscuits in front of her dad. She remembered waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet all her dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at Mum and ask her how my day was at school.
She didn't remember what she told him that night, but she did remember hearing Mum apologise to dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said:"Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your mama put in a long hard day at work today and she's really tired.
And besides... A burnt biscuit never hurt anyone but harsh words do!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things... And imperfect people.
I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
So...please pass me a biscuit.
And yes, the burnt one will do just fine!
And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life...and me too if I just did!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets...
Love the people who treat you right and have compassion for the ones who don't. ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRY DATE


So you’ve been dumped... So fucking what??!!(FYI Xmas  and valentine periods are always a good time for jerks to breakup with you) It's not the end of the world, honey!!

Before you go hitting the repeat button on Adele and any heartbreaking song, put down that ice cream spoon and find out how you can get through this difficult time, and over that low-life, smelly jerk who didn't have the decency to let YOU be the one to toss HIM to the curb. We still reserve the first choice to toss em to the curb!! Hehehehe!

Trust me, you can graduate from obsessively reading every comment left on his Facebook wall to only reading the ones left by pretty girls! You CAN do it.

Men today can get the deed done with a pseudo-heartfelt email or even by – yes! – text. Gentlemen looking for a way out of relationship while using the least amount of the contents of their nutsacks can do it via a status update or by simply ignoring your texts and calls. (Men, ladies LOVE this tactic.)
Men many opt for the silent treatment that allow you to go away by yourself without having to say anything...

But no matter how the hand-woven-with-love rug that was your relationship is being pulled out from beneath you, it’s important to spring into action right away.
From all breakups women suffer, I've found that you can't survive it without your friends – it doesn’t matter how you do it, but you MUST reach out to every girlfriend you have. Get your sympathy Army ready.
The word “asshole” should be typed all the way in a mass text.

Your girls will make you feel better in no time while they help you rip apart that jerk’s every flaw and tell you how you deserve better. They’re right. You do. What a jerk for breaking up with you, even if you did cheat on him with his friend.. Asshole. Lol!

I remembered when a girlfriend was dumped after a 5year relationship, putting up with the jerk, she ran to me and we composed a never-ending text to him... Using all the F-words! Crashing all the concerts and parties he attended, flirting with his friends!

Now, getting support from your friends is great, but there will come the time when their answers to your texts come slower and slower as their boyfriends show up and they snuggle down in front of Grey’s Anatomy, giggling while eating...

When this time comes, you’ll be tempted to weep and binge eat, overcome by the sudden quiet. DON’T! Before you open that refrigerator door, remember that instead of filling the emptiness growing within you with food, you can do it with alcohol and chocolates!
Pour yourself a drink, sexy. You deserve it. You’ve been through a lot. You’ve been through so much, don’t even think twice about emptying that bottle of wine or the bottle after that or the one after that. There, there!

Talk bout the ultimate step to take: GO OUT!
Change out of the sweatpants, wash and make a beautiful hairstyle, put on something sexy and entirely too small for your body and get out of that wine-bottle-filled apartment!

You’re not going to meet a man to distract you from Mr. Jerkface while hibernating.
While getting ready to go out, remember it’s important to begin rebuilding your confidence by documenting every step of the getting-ready process via taking mirror shots of yourself and planting em on every social-networking platform you belong to.
Don’t forget! Making a duck face is crucial to your recovery.

Trust me, its always a battle of the exes and who survives it!
Show that jerkface the awesomeness that's in you!(he's secretly still going through your tweets and photo album on Facebook)

You’re single now, chica! Single and mingling! You don’t need a man to validate you. Now is the time to let everyone know. You should be given plenty of opportunities while out on the town to boisterously celebrate your singledom. Whether you’re at a concert, comedy show or club, someone will ask the room, “Any single ladies here?” This is your moment.
Celebrate your newfound solitude with the loudest, shrillest “Woo!” you can muster.

While you're out dancing and partying hard, flirt as much as possible to validate you still got it in you!!!

Thursday, 8 December 2011

The Thin Line Between Professionals And Professional Girlfriends

This is one topic I've avoided writing bout because of its sensitivity.( whattttttt?!! Sensitivity?!! Bitch please!!)

I actually took a dare to write bout this... Had a heated argument on Facebook with some friends complaining about how Nigerian women uses Facebook as an avenue to solicit money from so called friends...

One of em told me the experience he had when he invited a gurl over and after the whole banging, fucking and sucking( actually the man admitted he enjoyed the sex and the gurl was hot) she demanded a specific amount of money refusing to take what the man was offering...
According to him, it caused some bitter rift between em when he asked her if she was a prostitute! ( OMGable! WTF?! For fucksakes! And to think she did a 4hr trip for your ungrateful ass?!! Please!!)

I couldn't stop asking myself the difference between a professional and a professional girlfriend...

In a fast changing world where men want women to evolve with their emotions, pick up a woman from the club, have sex and never call her again! How do you think women can handle that shit except make you pay for it?!
While I'm not a good judge of character, I noticed not all men are that insensitive, so in order to satisfy their conscience, they try to make friends with females they like, propose to be a lover and help the em financially. No commitment and everybody's happy.

While I'm not justifying prostitution as a Career, I couldn't help wondering what women actually think bout this...
I brought up the topic and trust me it was unending...

Women are emotional time bombs and so find it less frustrating to have sex with unavailable men.
To others, the money will help em in getting through life.

In my viewpoint, while the men are cool with unemotional sexual pleasures, women found out a way to cool off their emotions: sex for money!

Totally my viewpoint: you're not paying for the sex but for the emotional clingy thing that comes with having sex with a woman!

Before you throw the first stone, to what length would you go to have sex with a woman you find attractive? If she got what you want, you also got what she wants!

You'll want a non-committed sexcapades with a dependent single woman but will cringe when she ask for money?!! Please!!

Since men would never make up their mind for a 'one woman at a time' affair, the thin line between professionals and professional girlfriends will definitely get thinner.